Olga Have I Loved...Helga Have I Hated
by PoetryGal
Summary: Okay...this is my first HA fic. Helga and Co. are in their senior year of high school and Helga begins to remeber her love for Arnold...~There's a little cussing but ya...~
1. *Introduction*

Olga Have I loved...Helga have I hated  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! Get it, got it...good!! And I also don't own Jacob Have I Loved. (The title and all)  
  
A/n: This is my first story all so please R and R... anything is welcome! Just as long as I know how im doing!!!!  
  
  
The morning sun rises through the window and cast a pink glow on the wall of a bedroom. Tick, tock, tick tock...The only noise heard is from a clock slowly but steadily ticking time away and a small snore from a lump on the bed. A knock on the bedroom door is heard and then...  
  
"Helga! It's time to get up!" Mariem shouted.   
  
Silence is heard from the other side of the room. "Helga!!! Get up!" Mariem shouts.   
  
In the bed, a shape moves underneath the blanket.   
  
"Fine Mother!" An agiteated Helga replys. _Ugh...once again im forced to get up to another day of boring life....Why can't things ever go my way...?   
  
_Helga forces herself out of bed and slowly dresses herself. The old taste of middle school havn't changed that much...except for the fact that the dress has turned into a skirt and the unibrow had a permanent appointment with the beauty salon. Helga preceeds to walk downstairs and eats breakfast.   
  
"Oh Helga! Im so excited!" Marium stated happily.  
  
_"Well thats a change"_ Helga wrily thought to herself. "And why are you so excited Marium?" Helga asked her mother, not really caring why.  
  
"Because! Our darling Olga is coming for a visit today! She wants to talk to you about her collage and how she's looking forwardto talking to you about collage placement and everything" Mariem exclamied.   
  
"Thats really great mother...I can hardly wait" Helga said sarcastically.   
  
Mariem ignored Helga and walked away grinning and talking about what she was going to do when Olga came home.   
  
_Once again it seems "I just live in Olga's shadow..."_ Helga thought. She slowly packed her lunch and then left the house.   
  
As she walked over to Phoebe's house, one of her best friends that had even stayed by her in her times of depression, she thought about life and how it treated her. _Everyday the same thing...im ignored by my parents...the guy iv loved for about 14 years decides one day to drop his nice guy image, tell me to "fuck off" when i teased him, and then proceeded to push me out of his way....But maybe today i'll try and just once really try to be happy and maybe I can even make a few new friends... _Helga was thinking all this and other things when she arrived at Phoebe's house. She knocked on the door and Phoebe opened it.   
  
"Cough...Helga, it seems I have gotten a slight cold and it seems as though I will not be comming to school today." Phoebe said.   
  
"Oh, okay then Phee. Hope ya feel better..." Helga said.   
  
"I hope so too." Phoebe said. After they said their goodbyes, Helga walked to short, but mentally long walk to the place called high school.   
  
"Hey Helga!" Laura said. Laura was the only one in the group of friends that had a social status; the one of being the most popular girl in school. Why she hung out with Helga and her friends was a mystery to everyone.   
  
"Hi Laura." Helga said.   
  
"Why are you happy today," Laura joked, "you usually respond to me with a cold: Hello, or just a plain Hi. But never a Hi Laura!!!!"   
  
Helga laughed and flashed a rare smile that only a few people besides her friends ever saw.   
  
"Iv decided that today is the day that im going to accually do something for my life and try and be happy even though my life basically sucks shit." Helga stated.   
  
"Well that seems interesting! Good luck!" Laura said and then laughed.   
  
"How about we start now? Theirs Blaine over there!" Laura said and then pulled Helga in that direction   
  
"Hey Helga....hi Laura" Blaine said.   
  
_"Okay...be nice...even if Blaine is a guy know for having as many girlfriends as China has people..." _ Helga said to herself.  
  
"Hi Blaine...how are you?" Helga said.   
  
"Fine baby...as long as your in my life." Blaine said.   
  
_"Okay I give up," _Helga said to herself. "Don't ever call me baby Blaine." Helga said angrily and stomped away.   
  
Helga walked to class as Laura said to Blaine: "Don't mind her...you know how she is."   
  
_"Life sucks so badly... Im always either being excluded or exploited as a girl who can easily be taken advantage of and is Olga Pataki's sister..."_ Helga thought.   
  
_"What's the matter with the loser girl over there?...she seems a little of today...." _Arnold thought to himself.   
  
"Hello class! I have the 'special' opportunity to be your 'special' substitute while your 'special' teacher Mr. Velmont is gone because he felt as though his 'special' attributes to this 'special' school wern't being used to the fullest amount." Mr. Simmons stated.   
  
"Oh dear! It seems as though I have a few students from my own 'special' school here. Hello Arnold! Hello Helga! Are you still writting poetry? I hope you are!!" Mr. Simmons exclaimed.   
  
_"What is he doing....?" _Helga and Arnold both thought to themselves.   
  
" Wow class! It seems as thoug I saved this piece of poetry that Helga had written in 5th grade! Would you like to hear this 'special' poem?" Mr. Simmons asked.   
  
"Yes!" Was the response of the class.   
  
"No!" Helga shouted. "Please Mr. Simmons, don't read it!"   
  
"Now now Helga..." Mr. Simmons said. "As I was about to say, this is a special poem written by Helga Pataki:"   
  
"I wouldn't die for you...i'd rather live to love you. You could take my arms, id still find a way to touch you. You could take my legs...and I'll still run to your rescue...." Mr. Simmons recited while sobbing in between each word.   
  
_"Wow, I never knew Helga could write poetry like that," _Arnold thought, _"I can't believe she never let anyone read it in grade school...its really good"   
  
"Oh no! Everyones looking at my all funny...they all know about my love for him!! Damnit! Damn you Mr. Simmons!" _Helga mentally cursed. "May I be exscused? Please?" Helga said.   
  
"Sure Helga! And while you're gone, i'll read some more of your 'special' poetry to the class!" Mr. Simmons said.  
  
Helga sighed and then walked out of the classroom. No one saw the tears beggining to brim in her eyes except for one person...  
  
Okay all...how was that for a first story??? Please review so I know how im doing!   
  



	2. Shattered

Shattered  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! Is that clear to you or should I say it again?   
  


~*Happily ever after,  
That's how they want you to think it will be,   
But it's not,  
Not at all in reality.   
The deaths, the tears, the fears, the falls,   
Through it all we still go on.  
The broken hearts,   
the cheating friends,   
So much pain that never ends.   
The fake smiles that seem to make everything ok,  
But no for you, because you know the pain won't go away.  
Bright and cheery, but oh so weary,  
Because inside your heart is breaking in two.*~  


  
  
After Helga walked out of the classroom, Arnold sat there and wondered two things. The first was "Why was Helga crying." and the second was: "I wonder who the person she wrote that for is...?"  
  
In the bathroom, Helga stared at the pearly tile on the floor._ "I can't keep on living like this... Every time something happens, I end up having a relapse and begin to love Arnold again..."_ Helga had all these thoughts twirling around in her head while staring at the pearly, glossy, and rosy colored tile.   
  
Back in the classroom Arnold was beginning to wonder why he even cared about Helga. As Mr. Simmons read more of Helga's poetry, Arnold's girlfriend Jillian began whispering things to him.  
  
"What a nut-case!" Jillian said.  
  
_"I wonder if she's talking about Helga or Mr. Simmons..."_ Arnold said to himself.  
  
"Hellooooo? Earth the Arnold!!" Jillian whispered  
  
"Sorry Jill, I wasn't paying attention" Arnold said  
  
"Ugh! Obviously! Anyway, what do you want to do this weekend? I was thinking about going to this cool rave downtown!" Jillian stated  
  
"I thought we just went to a rave last week." Arnold bluntly said  
  
"So what? There's always something new going on here!" Jillian explained  
  
"Fine, fine, fine..." Arnold said._ "Why do I put up with this? I used to love Jillian, but now I feel so superficial! Im a fucking trophy boyfriend!!" _ Arnold thought.  
  
(Yet, inside the bathrooms...)  
  
_"I can't take this anymore!! It's only senior year and I have gotten all of my credits. There's nothing here left for me...Now where to go is the question..."_ Helga thought.  
  
She slowly rose off the toilet seat and walked out of the bathroom. Walking to the classroom, she could still here, even from down the hall, Mr. Simmons reading her poetry. Helga took a deep breath and walked back inside the classroom.  
  
"Helga! I'm glad to see that you're back!! Your poetry is just so 'special!' Do you think that you could perhaps tell us one of the many poems you wrote?" Mr. Simmons asked.  
  
"Um...I don't think so Mr. Simmons. Im not feeling well, so im about to go home." Helga stated.  
  
"Well then, before you leave you MUST tell us a poem of yours!" Mr. Simmons insisted.  
  
"I said I didn't want to Mr. Simmons!" Helga exclaimed.  
  
"Mrs. Pataki, now i'm not one to fuss over something, but you are a 'special' student and i am not insiting but DEMANDING you to read one of your poems....now." mr. Simmons said  
  
"Fine! Ill read one of my fucking poems!!!"  
  
'Helga! Such language in the classroom! i'm not sure what has gotten into you, but I don't apporive of it. But before I send you to the office you have to read a poem"  
  
Helga sighed and accepted defeat.  
  
"Please dont judge me by my face,  
by my religion or my race.   
Please dont laugh at what i wear,  
or how I look or do my hair.   
Please look a little deeper,   
way down deep inside.   
And although you may not see it,   
I have a lot to hide.   
Behind my clothes the secrets lie,   
behind my smile, I softly cry.   
Please look a little deeper, a  
nd maybe you will see.  
The lonely little girl,   
that lives inside of me.  
Please listen carefully to her,   
she'll show that she is insecure  
Please try to be a friend to her,  
and show her that you care.   
Please just get to know her,   
and maybe you will see.  
That if you just look deep enough,   
you'll find the real me."   
  
Helga recited this poem from memory. Out off all of her 300 plus poems she had written about Arnold, this was her faveorite. As everyone in the class stared at her, Helga slowly walked to her seat, picked up her purse & backpack, and walked out of the room, daring never to look back.  
  
Arnold watch this from his chair, wishing that he could run after her. But he knew that he could not. He had no idea why he even cared about running after her. Yet something in his heart compelled him to go. But still, listening to his brain and not his heart, he began to talk to Jillian about their weekend plans.  
  
Outside, Helga wondered where she was going to go. Her mother was at work so she wouldn't be home when Helga came home and left again.   
  
When she arrived home, she took off her long black coat and placed it on the coat hanger at the front door.  
  
_"At least i'll be gone before Olga gets home."_ Helga stated to herself.  
  
She walked upstairs and began to pack her things.  
  
Helga packed everything that she owned. At the last moment, she threw in her box of poetry books just in case she wanted to ever publish some of the poems. "_Not as though anyone would read them..."_ After she finished packing, she went into her bathroom and turned on the shower. The mirror in the bathroom began to slowly heat up and Helga took off her clothes. Through the steam on the mirror, she could see herself. Helga then began to weep slowly because she had become to truly believe that she would never be loved by anyone except herself. She stepped into the shower and tried to wash away her problems. After her 20 minute shower, Helga slowly stepped out and dried herself off. She walked out of the bathroom and began to dress herself into a long black skirt, a white top, and grabbed her suitcase. She stopped in the kitchen and went into the hidden drawer that she had made underneath the cabbinet. Inside, there was 4 credit cards and $978.50 in hundreds, twentys, and other small bills. Helga put these into the pocket of her skirt and left the kitchen. In the living room, she found a piece of paper and wrote a note to her mother.  
  
_Dear mother:  
  
I'm sorry to disappoint you but I will never be the daughter that Olga has been. I constantly only live in her shadow and I feel as though I cannot beat the pain any longer. Please don't be upset in my behalf because I am going to move to a place where no one knows me and I can start over again. Every so often, I promise to write you and see how you are doing. I will probably miss you dearly even though you hardly ever showed me you loved me. I love you mother, and I'm sorry I could not have been a better daughter to you.  
Love,  
Helga_  
  
After Helga finished her note, she walked to the front door, put on her long black coat, and left the world that had for so long toutered her poor soul.  
  
When Helga arrived at the airport, she had no clue where she was going to go to. She had no friends, no family, and knew no other languages except English. Helga knew that she should go to Europe, but she didn't know where. Suddenly, a large boom was heard and a blast of hot air blasted her face before she blacked out.  
  
_"Where am I...?" _  
  
"Doctor! The patient is waking up!!!!"   
  
_"The noise...."  
  
_"The patient? Wakeing up? Call the others in!!!"  
  
_"The pain...! I can't see anything."  
  
_"Miss Pataki? Are you awake?" A voice asked  
  
"WhereamI...?"   
  
"Shes speaking!!!!! Miss. Pataki! Can you see anything?"  
  
"...No..." The girl answered.  
  
"Just as I feared. Miss. Pataki, do you remeber anything about where you are?" the voice inquired.  
  
"Um..."  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Please dont judge me by my face,  
by my religion or my race.   
Please dont laugh at what i wear,  
or how I look or do my hair.   
Please look a little deeper,   
way down deep inside...   
Please try to be a friend to her,  
and show her that you care.   
Please just get to know her,   
...That if you just look deep enough,   
you'll find the real me.   
  
~End Flashback~  
  
"I think so...but why...what....can't see..." Helga stated.  
  
"Um...Miss. Pataki, I don't know how do say this, but I beleive that you are blind." the doctor stated.  
  
And with those words, Helga knew her life would never be the same again. All her hopes, her dreams, everything....demoslished because she was in the right place at the wrong time.  
  
  
How was this for a sequal? All comments are excepted. (I NEED criticism!)  
  
  
  
  



End file.
